Tag: ex-wife
My toxic ex-wife vanished as soon as we divorced and now I can’t see my children
SINCE we divorced, my now ex-wife has vanished and won’t let me visit our children.
I’m 46 and she is 43.
We have three beautiful boys together but she uses them as pawns to hurt me.
I miss them so much, it really hurts.
Our marriage was toxic, and chequered with infidelity by both of us.
We decided to call it quits a year ago, but as soon as I finalised the divorce papers she vanished.
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I think she might even have a new partner on the scene.
She promised I’d always be able to visit the children, but she’s taken them out of their school and left me with no forwarding address.
The only contact I have now is about once a month when she answers the phone and lets me talk to them on speakerphone.
I suspect she moved back to Birmingham where her family are from.
But none of her relatives will answer my messages.
My sons are ten, nine and six now and I don’t want to miss another birthday.
I am beside myself with worry and regret. What if I never get to see my sons again?
DEIDRE SAYS: It sounds like your ex-wife wanted a fresh start, but cutting you out of the kids’ lives completely is selfish.
Sadly, the people she is hurting the most are your children.
When you do speak to them, let them know how much you love them all.
Don’t be tempted to criticise her, as this will only make them feel more conflicted.
It is worth noting that neither partner can legally stop the other from having access to a child unless continued access is considered detrimental to the child’s welfare.
If she would consider mediation to organise access, this could avoid a costly court case.
You can find out more about mediation through National Family Mediation and their website (nfm.org.uk).
But as your relationship has broken down, you are likely to need a court order to arrange access.
Please get advice and information from Families Need Fathers (fnf.org.uk, 0300 0300 363).