Tag: woody
Deviant Cologuard boxes harass Woody Harrelson in ‘SNL’ sketch
UPDATE: Feb. 26, 2023, 8:01 p.m. CST This article had been updated to reflect accurate information about Cologuard and it’s use, as confirmed by a representative with the company that makes Cologuard.
Woody Harrelson being harassed and urged to take a dump into a colon cancer screening box was not on my 2023 bingo card but here we are I guess. Harrelson, this weekend’s host for Saturday Night Live, starred in the most absurd spoof commercial yet this season, as the actor fends off deviant Cologuard boxes who want him to “unleash” inside them.
Gross, I know.
Cologuard for those at home that don’t know (I didn’t until having to write this), is a noninvasive at-home screening test for adults 45 or older who are at average risk for colon cancer. SNL as a part of its series of creepy commercials envisions a universe where not only do the Cologuard boxes talk but they enjoy having you “unleash” in them.
It’s a hilarious, albeit creepy watch whether it’s watching Harrelson slap away the wandering hands of Thomas the Cologuard box (“Why do I hate knowing that,” Harrelson mutters to himself) or seeing Kenan Thompson play the just as creepy and perverted UPS guy.
Woody Harrelson’s delivered a strange, anti-vax ‘SNL’ monologue
Summarizing Woody Harrelson’s opening monologue for this weekend’s Saturday Night Live would be a near-impossible task. That’s because the actor and this weekend’s host really leaned into his stoner, kooky persona, telling a winding story that shifted direction countless times. Oh and somehow, it ended with an anti-vax joke that was greeted with crickets.
Long story short, the monologue centered on Harrelson smoking a joint and reading a script while sitting under a tree in New York City’s Central Park. Along the way, Harrelson talks about politics, his manager Jeremy, his new movie, and a script he read. And weed, lots and lots about weed.
Anyway, the monologue all ends with Harrelson making a joke that centers on the idea that the COVID vaccine and locking down in 2020 was some plot cooked up by Big Pharma. Harrelson said he read a script for a movie.
“So the movie goes like this. The biggest drug cartels in the world get together and buy up all the media and all the politicians and force all the people in the world to stay locked in their homes,” Harrelson said, in a clear nod to vaccine conspiracy theories.
“And people can only come out if they take the cartel’s drugs and keep taking them over and over,” he added. “I threw the script away. I mean, who was going to believe that crazy idea? Being forced to do drugs? I do that voluntarily all day long.”
Harrelson has before expressed some questionable thoughts about masks and 5G internet, so it’s not necessarily a shocker that he’d spout anti-vax theories.
How to get Buzz and Woody in Disney Dreamlight Valley
Disney Dreamlight Valley will introduce Toy Story’s Woody and Buzz Lightyear in December
Disney Dreamlight Valley has been in Early Access for a short while now, but has amassed a dozen of players with its relaxing simulation gameplay and fan-favourite characters. I’ve spent my fair share of time addicted to it, and now it’s a matter of time before I return so that I can see what all-new characters are getting up to.
When it comes to new characters, Disney Dreamlight Valley has now announced its second major content update, and who’s arriving alongside it. During the game’s first major update, we saw The Lion King’s antagonist, Scar, invited into Dreamlight Valley. While this villainous lion certainly isn’t everyone’s favourite, I suspect the latest new characters will be.
Dreamlight Valley’s second major content update pairs up with Toy Story, and introduces a brand-new realm for us to explore that is set inside Andy’s bedroom. From the announcement on Twitter, it’s safe to say that Woody and Buzz Lightyear will soon be taking up residence in players’ towns.