Disney Dreamlight Valley is a glittering life simulator in which you — having somehow slipped out of the real world into a kind of Disney-sponsored coma — find yourself living alongside all of your favourite intellectual property. Your mission? Emotionally manipulate the awful dog-beast Goofy by gifting him dandelions and bream until he becomes your best friend, then set about working on Scrooge McDuck and the rest.
Before we dive too far into this thing: if you’re here because you’ve got a kid and you just want to know if Disney Dreamlight Valley will make them happy, and that the rat from Ratatouille doesn’t say the f-word, and that at no point does Ariel drag herself onto the beach to try to recruit them into a multi-level marketing scam, then you’re golden. Disney Dreamlight Valley is a top-marks Animal Crossing rip-off that will make fans of too-big mice irreversibly giddy. Your children may eventually need a special operation to stop them smiling.